Why Scott Has Stopped Doing One-on-One Sessions at this Time*

*except under limited circumstances

For now Scott is not open to one-on-one sessions unless it deals with any of the following types of situations:

  1. People who are highly self motivated and will likely become drawn to doing inquiry everyday on their own

  2. People with complex trauma for which no other health care professional has been able to help you with

  3. People who have already paid for and scheduled sessions prior to this post.

  4. People experiencing grief after the loss of a loved one

  5. People with suicidal ideation without a plan or method

  6. I also provide a personalized recovery program for people who can afford to allow me to live with them for a short while to help them with their addiction

  7. People addicted to heroin, alcohol, cocaine, meth, painkillers, sex or porn, whether you are in a treatment center or not

  8. Spiritual seekers who have been seeking for ten years or more

A Message From Scott

Dear Friends,  

For now, I am no longer doing private sessions. I respectfully ask you to read the reasons behind that decision below. This decision feels right for me!

The Kiloby Inquiries (KI) work very well. After leaving teaching for five years, I returned to giving private sessions online, the difference being that now I’ve been using the KI with clients online for the first time outside the Kiloby Center. My calendar quickly booked up a month and a half in advance. People keep wanting to come back to explore an even greater depth of freedom via these inquiries we’ve developed in the last three years. I know exactly how they feel. For a few years, my roommate and best friend Dan McLintock and I developed the KI and we knew it was something very special, innovative and effective.  Funny thing is . . . we weren’t consciously trying to develop a method. We were simply exploring (without any rules) in different ways, and a method got developed through that exploration. Even though Dan was there to receive my help, he also helped me along the way as we developed this work. During those years of living with Dan, I also wanted to keep coming back to inquiry (just like so many private session clients) to explore the unconscious drivers that I could not see, let alone dissolve, before we developed KI. My life and perception has been profoundly changed by these inquiries. The shifts that have happened in my life since the development of these inquiries would take a book to explain! Dan would probably tell you the same thing but I’ll let him speak for himself.  

For any cynics out there, you’ll miss the mark completely if you think this is a clever promotional advertisement for KI. No longer doing sessions will actually reduce my income greatly. So this is no money making scheme. I’ve sat with this decision for months.  I’ve inquired about it and I finally feel clear about the decision and the reasons behind it. I’m writing to express a desire to evolve even more in the way we help people discover their own freedom and peace. The reason private sessions (including even a package of 10 or 20 private sessions) feels “off” is that working with people once a week does not provide them with the kind of real support and care they often need as they try and navigate the pitfalls, bypassing and magical thinking that is prevalent in spirituality.  

Inquiry is not meant to make you feel good. It’s there to help you start feeling. Period. As a species, one of our biggest issues is that we are a traumatized race that doesn’t process its emotions in a healthy way. We stay in our heads way too much. Awakening is about dismantling beliefs, identities, traumas, programming and other stories that cause suffering. If the readiness is there, this work can clear all that mental and emotional debris so that being present to the moment is much easier and natural. But for many the readiness just isn’t there yet. So as we (The Kiloby Inquires Facilitator) work with people in training in the future, readiness will be a big key in terms of who we invite into training.  

Since owning and managing treatment centers, I’ve learned that many people need a higher level of support than just a session a week.  That’s PRECISELY why we started the Kiloby Center and the Natural Rest House, so that we could be there to support people everyday, all day. What’s wonderful now is that the Kiloby Center for Recovery can work with you over zoom during the Covid 19 crisis.  You don’t even have to come to our center. 

While working at the center, I saw first hand how many people are not trauma-informed and had never had good trauma treatment, even though for ten years tons of studies had been stating that trauma is the main driver of addiction and many other forms of suffering. The clients that came to our center were often shocked.  They didn’t realize our work went so deep and did not know just how much trauma was being stored in their bodies. And many of them were seeking enlightenment or self improvement, not realizing that the drive towards those goals was really just a way to escape pain (trauma). They were dreaming up a future time when “all would be better” thereby bypassing the pain of the past. You can bypass pain but it won’t bypass you. It will come back to bite you in the ass later.  

Look, let’s be frank. Trauma doesn’t have to be called “trauma.” We can drop the clinical reference. Trauma just means past pain that you are carrying over to the present moment. It’s why you get triggered with loved ones, it’s why you feel not good enough, etc. What happened to you as a child matters. And painful childhood events leave imprints in the system. That’s what trauma is. We may be able to drop the clinical term “trauma” but we can’t dismiss the fact that the word is merely pointing to human pain. We can all relate to that. Trauma can be truly debilitating and can negatively affect every aspect of your life.  

Working with a person once a week doesn’t provide the support they really need.  They need help stabilizing in awareness of course. I do that work with them in sessions. But they also need trauma work because without it, their systems can’t rest as awareness. I also do trauma work with them. The issue is that we, as humans, learned these stories, traumas and other programming earlier in life. And so we have been unconsciously training like Olympic athletes all our lives to hold onto this precious yet painful programming as a way to stay falsely safe. We are simply afraid to let go of what we believe. It can feel like death.  

A skillful exploration is needed if a person wants the greatest inner freedom and peace possible. And that exploration has to be ongoing for a while until a good deal of trauma, shame and other unconscious patterns work themselves out and fall away. Very few people simply “wake up” out of the entire conditioning that makes them suffer. There is usually something(s) left in that person’s system after such a shift in consciousness that wasn’t entirely included, integrated, welcomed and dissolved. Our deepest pain hides deep within us. That’s how we stay safe. It comes out only to protect us when we feel backed into a corner, threatened, or triggered. No trigger happens in a vacuum. Triggers come from our programming (trauma).

Ongoing support is simply necessary. Gone are the days when we can settle for teachers simply touring the country like rock stars, showing people amazing spiritual experiences, only to have so many of those people crash a week or two later later as the go back to their usual lives. Meanwhile the teacher leaves town, offering no follow up support.  

This is why we are building the Kiloby Cooperative. The Cooperative will start slow, providing a few services here and there. But our goal is to provide a comprehensive and robust virtual center online that provides support via our work in a number of really beneficial ways. The Cooperative seeks to correct the gaping holes mentioned above in spirituality.   

This leads me to why I’m stopping private sessions for now.  Having been an owner of the Kiloby Center and while now contemplating the Kiloby Cooperative, which could potentially give people the support they really need, once a week sessions with clients don’t feel right for me at this time.  

Perhaps more importantly, people can end up spending a LOT of money for private sessions unnecessarily, especially if they do sessions for a year or so. Training is a much more affordable way to dive into this work. Training also takes you deeper into the work than private sessions do. This is because training focuses on three key aspects that are very helpful when it comes to true freedom:  

1) Learning how to become more skillful on your own, looking from your own direct experience

2) Receiving during training tons of free sessions from classmates, which helps you deepen into presence and delve into unconscious patterns of suffering that you cannot see, and

3) Learning how to facilitate and help others awaken and heal.  

To be immersed that deeply into this work during training transforms you tremendously!

Before I end, please don’t get the impression that sessions aren’t helpful. They can be incredibly life-altering. I’m moving out of the session business simply because I’m interested in providing a higher level of care for people.  

From this point forward, in addition to working on my treatment centers, my focus will be mainly on two things: Building the Kiloby Cooperative and Training people to become Kiloby Inquiries Facilitators.  

If you would like to train with me, I have an upcoming training program starting in July with my fellow developer of KI Dan McLintock. Click here for more info on that training program.

I’m am also training people one-one-one now.  It’s quite amazing to focus all my attention training one person.  Personalized one-on-one training is probably the most potent vehicle of transformation I have available now because the program provides a higher level of one-on-one support.  You can read more about one-on-one training here.

If participants pass evaluation at the end of training, they become certified facilitators of the Kiloby Inquiries.  We need more facilitators because the Kiloby Cooperative wants to provide a vehicle by which this work can reach as many people for an affordable cost.

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